For my grandmother.

"Family is not an important thing, its everything..."

My grandma is around 85 years-old, but to be honest, I don't even know my grandma well. I wish I got to hang by her side more along with my other grandparents, but what can I do when they live all the way in Fukuoka, Japan.

The last time I visited Japan and saw my grandma was back in 2003, when I was in the 7th grade and I couldn't tell you when the time before that was. It wasn't vacation unfortunately; my grandfather had passed away a week or two prior on our arrival. It was sad to see my mother, my aunt, my uncles and my cousins break down into tears when we had a gathering at my grandmother's house.

I didn't know my grandpa well either. All I knew was he was sick all the time when I visited him (from what I remember) and he is a war veteran.

Now, that my grandpa has passed away, my grandma as pretty much alone. One of my uncles has been living with her his entire life but knowing that their significant other isn't there by their side anymore, it's more than depressing.

My mother will always call her to check up on how she's doing and whenever I pass by my mother talking on the phone with her, my mom always forced me to speak with her, even if it's just a simple "Hey, how's everything going?"

My grandma and my cousin, Izumi

Probably about 2 years ago, my mother's sister called and told my mother that my grandma started to lose her memory. She said that my grandma didn't recognize my aunt when she went for a visit to my grandma's house and starts to space out while having conversations. My mother, sister's and I were worried that her time might be coming soon.

As my mother gave phone calls every night to Japan, she told me one day that she is moving to a nursing home because it was too much for my uncles and aunt to handle because it consisted of them having to stay up all night and going to work in the morning. They all thought it was the best for her.

I write this blog about my grandma because I was listening to music about chasing your dreams today and I remember my mother telling me during high school that my grandma said she hopes that I can make it big one day so she can watch me on TV. So, like any other kid would, I started to chase my dreams so I can show my grandma that I did it. Then I'll have flash backs of when my grandma would always treat me to lunch or buy me things that my mother wouldn't. I was pretty spoiled when I was around her but would scold me when I did actually do something bad.

I look up to my grandma because she is quite possibly the strongest person to live. Not physically,  but mentally and emotionally. And when I think of what have to go through at times, I think about what my grandma has and is going through.

I wish I talked to my grandma about her past. It's been about 10 years since I seen her and I feel stupid that I didn't talk to my grandma a lot because as I grew older, I realized that family is everything and the times you spend with family is the thing we value most.

Now, I sit here in Torrance, California with no job and another year of school left, thinking of how and when I would get to visit my grandma when time is only running out. What I would give up to just to see my grandma, even if she doesn't remember  what I look like, who's son I am or what my name is. I would give her the biggest hug.

Until I have time and money to visit her, I have at least one more year of college baseball left. I'm not great as everyone thinks I am but I'm going to give it all I got like I have always been. Leave it all on the field.

I love you to death grandma. Ill see you soon